Sooooooooo Bruce's credit card company calls him and threatens to revoke his merchant account because all of a sudden our computer is not "secure". Seems we keep failing Security Metric's little online test. This becomes my project as I spent countless hours on the phone with our internet provider, wireless router company, Security Metrics, and some tech support guy named "Bub" from India. Most of them say the same thing, "Ah, port xxx? that's not us, you must speak to your (whatever company they don't like that day)". Actually Security Metrics had the line of the day: Well, you failed but we can't tell you why or how to fix it? Huh? No question about job security there!
On about the third go-round of this game, I finally wised up and started asking the really hard questions - I had learned enough by now to throw around some phrases - phrases that I didn't have the slightest clue as to what they meant. That's when they started saying things like "Oh, you need our senior technical support department" - by the wait on the phone I figured that department consisted of one guy who showed up at the office every other day. People were left on hold until he returned.
Of course, our equipment was out of warranty and would we like to purchase a one-time support plan? Or, for another $10, we could have the 6-month extension, thereby allowing us to call in as many times as we needed. While this almost made me run from the room, the thought had crossed my mind that we might be cut off and I would have to call again - thus prompting another "one-time" charge....But at least this senior tech support guy, also named Bub, didn't start with the annoying question of "is your computer plugged in"?
Well, at the end of the day, I'm happy to report that we have finally passed the dreaded security test.....though I have my suspicions as to why we ended up in this predicament in the first place. Come to think of it, our all-in-one printer is not scanning or making copies anymore either...